Pornography, Cheating, and Relationships

This subject was requested from a source that requested to remain anonymous.  The basic question was my opinion on pornography and how it should be considered in the light of committed relationships.  I'm not certain how deep or articulate I will be as my opinion is rather simple and many themes echoed from previous posts.  However we will give it a go.

This is a another topic where the people in the relationship need to work out what works best for them.  My comments will be in general and reflective of my personal opinions.  In general, I would say that anything you do in a relationship that hurts the other should be evaluated.  The purpose of a good relationship is to work to make the other happy.  There are no 'rules' as much as there are common agreements.  If the act of your partner looking at pornography upsets you then you should communicate that.  For most people however I think that pornography should be a non-issue.  In a healthy relationship the jealousy and other feelings that would make you uncomfortable with the idea of your significant other looking at porn shouldn't bother you.  If you have some other reason based in something like the general morality of it then I suppose there is potentially a valid argument but one that doesn't carry much weight with me at least.

There is an argument that viewing pornographic material is tantamount to cheating.  In my opinion this argument has absolutely no weight.  It is normal and healthy for human beings to be interested in sex and fantasize about exotic scenarios like one would find in pornography.  Intellectually exploring these ideas does not change your heart or emotions.  I don't care what the situation is, I find it rather unlikely that anyone viewing pornographic material is doing so as a supplement for emotional connection which in my mind is what constitutes cheating.  That is a much deeper topic so I'll leave it at that.

Bottom line, watching porn doesn't constitute cheating, and in a healthy relationship should be perfectly acceptable.  If it is causing a problem like anything in a relationship, it should be dealt with appropriately.