Burning bridges and closed doors

Everyone in life has to deal with people in their life where the relationship fails for whatever reason.  Different people deal with this problem differently and in this post I intend to discuss my opinions and advice on the subject.

I tend to have fewer and closer friends than your average Joe, and because of this the end of relationships and friendships happens less, simply by having fewer relationships to manage. The ones that I do manage are naturally closer and the chances of coming to an irreconcilable situations is far less common.

When a relationship dies, no matter if it's a friendship, marriage, professional partnership, or other type of relationship the end result will be the lowest common denominator.  Meaning that the conditions of the end of the relationship will be dictated by the person in that relationship who wants the least amount.  It is at this moment when people choose to burn bridges, or close doors.

Let's establish common definitions before I provide my opinion and advice.  Burning a bridge is when you take specific actions that intend to prevent any possible future for reconciliation.  These overt actions can vary in degree and are subject to how they are interrupted by the other party.  Closing a door comes in two flavors.  Closing a door is when you refuse to attempt to communicate, and the stronger version of locking that door is when you won't entertain the idea of further communication.

My personal policy is to never burn a bridge, or lock a door.  However I will close a door.  What happens in this scenario is that when a relationship breaks down I tend to get quiet, will allow communication but won't pursue it.  This way I feel is the best method when you have decided that what you want, or maybe what you are willing to accept is the end of a relationship.  What this means to my former friends is that you may come knock on the door and expect to be able to discuss with me rationally.  When someone leaves my circle of trust it is not the end of everything, simply should operate with the knowledge that I will be far more reserved than you were accustomed to as my friend.

The end of any relationship is sad.  Regardless of circumstances I don't feel it's appropriate to celebrate such things.  It should be handled with dignity and grace.  All of the bridges coming to Scott island are made of stronger stuff than the fires people have tried to use.  The doors may be strong but they are not locked.  Anyone who was once my friend, and wants to try again, should come and visit.